Two of a Kind: Death Comes [After the monstrously long first chapter with its ridiculous grammar, blatant Mary Sueage and mindfuckery dressed up as romance, that's probably what most readers are praying for right now.] ( Chapter 2 ) ( Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 )
Anime/Manga: Yami No Matsuei
Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Romance [There's certainly a lot of melodrama around, and very generic yaoi sex, but I've yet to see any real romance.] | Type: Yaoi
Uploaded On: September 27, 2006 23:35 CDT
Pages: 4 | Words: 7443 | Size: 36 KB | Visits: 45 | Status: Work In Progress
You will learn more details about Kira. The mysterious girl who wants Tsuzuki. [Now that's what I call a summary. No need to read the fic at all now; we've got the plot right here. But wait, what about all the sexy emotional blackmailing?]
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Yami No Matsuei. I wish I did, but if I did I would not being writing fanfiction.
Warning: Bad language and yaoi. (Boy and boy love.)
Summary: It has been two years after Kyoto and Muraki appears once again. [Judging by the first chapter of this drek, Muraki never really went away. Well, except to his weekly Psychos Anonymous meetings, I guess, where he learnt to apologise to his victims before raping and murdering them.] Muraki and Tsuzuki both have changed since then and are learning from their past mistakes. What does that mean for those two? A young girl comes into the picture and asks for help. Who is this girl and what does she want from Muraki and Tsuzuki?
Notes: This is my second chapter to Two of a Kind. [Wow! I didn't realise that at all! Wait, is this the internet?] Thanks very much to yAOi-aI lOVer for your review. [Clearly a gentleperson of great learning, judging by their excellent grasp of linguistics!] Please review and tell me what you think of the second chapter. [Tell me again, is this the second chapter? I may have taken a wrong turn after you last reminded me, one sentence ago.] You will learn more about Kira. [Gee, I could swear I read this in a summary somewhere.] Thanks for reading and reviewing my story.
Chapter Two: Death Calls
Oriya and I walk into KoKakuRo [Okay, seriously. Did your favourite fansubber write it like that and you were afraid that he'd murder you in your sleep if you corrected the capitalisation? I can distinctly remember that the first version of Rurouni Kenshin I ever saw referred to the main character as "Bathow-sai". Well, I've been writing it "Battousai" ever since and I'm still breathing, so FIX IT ALREADY.] and see some of the girls around a table talking about six handsome men outside talking to Miss Kira [who is talking to Marvin Gaye who is talking to his dog who is just confused because he's trapped in a never-ending sentence!] which I would guess would be Oriya's niece. [Guess? All those years you've been friends, and Oriya has never introduced you to his powerful Sue niece? Shit, with your Canon Stu powers combined with hers, you could've taken over the world by now!] Looking over to Oriya, I ask, "Do you know what they are talking about?" He shakes his head ["Oh yeah, my niece is dead but still requires medical assistance. That's pretty curious. But I bet they're talking about something else completely."] and we both walk outside. I did not expect my lover to be on the ground unconscious and all his friends around him with worry in their eyes. Clearing my throat, I ask, "What happened?" ["I was just walking in with Oriya, but then I was suddenly walking out instead and found you had all mysteriously teleported outside, too! What the hell is going on here?"] Mr. Tatsumi looks up at me with anger in his blue eyes. [I had completely managed to forget their colour! Thanks again for the reminder!] Guessing he is still upset with Asato being my lover now, [It's been almost an entire day; when is he going to GET OVER IT already?] I grin at him. I think, "You are not right for him. You can never heal his scars." Teasing Mr. Tatsumi with my words, I ask, "What is wrong, Mr. Tatsumi? You look upset to see me." [Ah, good old Mr. Sociopath is usin' and abusin' people again!] I notice two different men that I have no knowledge of [Neither do we. Just ignore them, that's my strategy.] here with the guardians of death. Bowing my head to them, I reply [to a question no one asked, because among other unexplained powers, I can also read thoughts], "My name is Kazutaka Muraki. Nice to meet such men as yourselves." [That is, bland and personality-free stock characters. No one gives two craps about you, so there shouldn't be too much hassle when I slowly kill you with a fruit knife. Yes, I'm always pleased to meet men like you!]
One man with black hair replies, "The pleasure is ours, Dr. Muraki. My name is Keyis." [Ooh, he has black hair! Thanks for that first scrap of description!] He points to the other man while stating, "This is Carton. We are both soldiers." [In what army? Or do you just put on funky outfits, strap on your guns and hope no one asks?]
Replying while walking to my beloved, "I see. I have not done research on soldiers." [Neither has the author.]
Carton states in a cold voice, "You would not find too much on us, Dr. Muraki."
I smile at him while I check Asato's pause [Yes, his Pause seems fine. But his Fast Forward is sticky with dried orange juice.] to make sure he is all right. He seems to be all right. [He's all right. Did you all get that? Because he really is all right, all right?] Looking around the yard to see a young teenager girl, no older than eighteen [The Sue needs to be barely legal for hentai reasons. Hey, it's a listed genre of this fic!] staring at me, I ask, "Are you Cease's daughter?" [Who the fuck is Cease? Why would Oriya, who is so damn Japanese he wears traditional clothing, smokes a traditional pipe and fights with a traditional sword, have a brother named "Cease"?] She nods to me and I think, "She looks just like Cease with her face shape and her sky blue eyes, [A Japanese guy called Cease with sky blue eyes, huh? All right, I'll just nod and smile...] but something is not right about her. She has strong powers." [Oh no! It's a severe case of Mary Sueism! I better get my instruments!] Looking over at Oriya, I state, "Mr. Tsuzuki should be fine. I believe he needs some rest." [Did you figure that out all on your own, Doctor?]
Oriya asks, "What the hell is going on?"
Kira answers him, "Sorry. He must have sensed my pain." [It's really embarrassing, what my ridiculous personal angst gets up to. Striking people down, left and right. I'd take pain medication, but y'know, it's against the Sue rules. They clearly state that I must remain in pain at all times, yet perfectly capable of outdoing everyone around me.]
The boy asks, "How can that be? He does not have that power."
She turns to look at him and gives him a sad smile while stating, "You would be amazed what he can do." [Sorry, what I can do. Just bask in my all-knowing light, okay?]
Looking Kira over again, I notice her long blown hair that fits her frame. [How does hair fit someone's frame? Is it plastered to her back? That's not very attractive. I think she loses a Sue point for that.] I ask while standing up, "Who are you? You are no longer alive and I can sense great power in you." She looks at me with sadness in her eyes [because her life is PAIN] and walks towards the door.
Mr. Carton states, "Miss Kira, I had enough of your actions." [Nice try, but Sues are sticky creatures. They're not that easy to get rid of.]
She turns around and grins as she responds, "Is that so, Carton? I for one do not like to be hunted, but I do wonder how Saki lives once again. [See, now she's suddenly forgotten all about her overwhelming sadness and is made of sass. These kind of mood swings are classic signs of Sueage.] Even I can tell an immortal gave that demon life again." [Even you? Who else knows this, Jesus? We certainly never heard of it.]
Oriya turns around quickly and asks, "What are you talking about?"
She gives him a sad look [Aaaand back to a life of pain again.] before she answers, "Saki is the one who is coming after me. I am afraid he will attack anything and everything that is close to me." [No, you condescending little nitwit, they were asking about that immortal guy you mentioned.]
My beloved eyes [My world would be such a dark place without them!] start to open and he smiles at me while I ask, "Are you all right, Mr. Tsuzuki?" He nods and looks around to notice the others are here. Seeing the fear in his eyes as he looks at Carton, [For some reason. I repeat, who the hell is Carton? Clearly he's a major baddie, because everyone fears him except the Sue, who is the only one who can sass him and get away with it.] I lean down and whisper, "Do not worry about him. I will protect you." He nods to me again [It's so nice to be a helpless little victim child who can't tie his own shoelaces!] and I help him up on his feet. Mr. Tatsumi gives Asato a sad look and gives me a dirty look while I smile at him. [A dirty look? Tatsumi? I can't even picture that in my head.]
Kira speaks up, "I am sorry, Asato Tsuzuki. I did not realize that you would sense my pain. Forgive me." [Oh yes you did. Admit it. You're clearly all-knowing.]
He answers her with sadness [Enough of all this sadness! Somebody crack a fucking smile! Somebody other than the resident psychopath!] in his voice, "It is all right. What happened to you? That pain was . . . "
She cuts him off, "It is still not time for you to know who I really am, Asato Tsuzuki." [All in Sue's time!]
Mr. Tatsumi asks in a low tone, "What do you mean by that?"
She answers, "I am sure your friend will tell you what I mean. [He can't, because you refuse to fucking explain your enigmatic dream-speak to him!] As for now, there is a barrier around this area." [The what? Who put it there? Why?]
Oriya replies, "You mean I have to host these people."
She nods to him and walks inside. [Ah, the Sue put up a Sue-barrier to trap everyone in the brothel for the night, for absolutely no reason. Good, I'm glad we cleared that up.] Chuckling while staring at Oriya, I respond, "She is much like her mother."
He replies with a sigh, "Yeah. Cease and you were the same. [So everybody's like everybody else?] You can help these people. I have a business to run." [Never mind the fact that she's YOUR relative. Where the hell are the Sue's parents, anyway? Why did they send their undead child to her uncle's high-class brothel? Is this a subtle hint that they're not going to pay her zombie college fees?]
Watching him walk inside, I reply, "It would seem that you will need rooms. [Because everybody's really fond of walking in and out of places in this fic!] I will be so glad to show you to your rooms." ["I don't need you to show me around my own damn house," said Oriya, then proceeded to get the hell out of the fic before he had to screw the traumatised boy again.] Looking over Mr. Keyis and Mr. Carton, I notice their powers are stronger than the guardians of death [Fuck, these two are from the Inexplicably Powerful Stock Character pile!] as I think, "I must be careful around those two." [I better think twice about murdering them; I might break a sweat!] Sensing eyes on me, I turn around to stare at the blonde guardian of death. [Er... Chizuru? Saya, Yuma?] Asato is looking between us and sighing at seeing his friend with hatred in his eyes for me. [Oh, you people with your petty complaints! Can't you just accept Muraki as the fluffy little darling he is?] Of course, I know better than to say anything right now. It is their nature to think ill of me. [Right. It has nothing whatsoever to do with your actions. They're just genetically predisposed to hate you. Poor little psychopath; nobody understaaaaands.] After everything I have done, I am surprise I am still standing here without an injure. [I'm pretty surprised no English teacher has gone after the author with a giant red pen of DEATH.]
Mr. Watari asks with a cold glare, "What are you up to, Muraki?" [At least someone's still in character.]
Tilting my head in amusement, I state, "I have nothing plan." [Especially not remedial English lessons!] The boy looks at me and leans against the wall. Shrugging my shoulders, I ask, "What?" I cannot help but tease them. It is my nature and besides they would not believe I have changed since the last time they saw me. [No, only the author would. We readers certainly aren't convinced.] Only Asato and the boy know that I have done nothing wrong. [Your self-delusion is so PRECIOUS!]
Mr. Tatsumi replies, "Watari, it is all right. He is not here to start trouble with us." He looks at me and asks, "Why are you here?" [To start trouble. Sorry, Tatsumi. This author hit you with the stupid stick.]
Answering while I light up a cigarette, "Oriya asked me to check on his niece. He was worried about her health." [So worried he walked out and left a couple of strangers and a serial killer to take care of her. Hey, she's DEAD. Shouldn't he have called in a zombie expert? Perhaps a pathologist?] Asato walks to the porch and takes a seat on the edge and stares at us all. Observing my lover's eyes, I can tell he is thinking about something that is troubling him. Wishing with my entire being that I can help him with his thoughts, [that is, wash them and hang them out to dry so that he's happily and mindlessly under my spell again,] I ask, "What is wrong, Mr. Tsuzuki?"
He states, "That girl was in my dreams for a week. [A week? When did that happen?] She is the one who wants my help. I felt all her pain and betrayal. When her mother was killed, she was left alone." [Thanks for putting Hisoka out of a job. Now his only goal in this fic is to convince everyone that Muraki is on the Light Side. How fucked up is that?]
Carton speaks up, "So what. We all have horrible pasts." [Clearly you ARE working at the Enma-chou!]
Asato looks at him with anger and replies, "You are right about that, Carton. Her pain was so deep and it was like . . . "
Watching tears flow down his beautiful face, I stand there with anger in my eyes [What, you finally looked up the word "anger" in the dictionary and are now so proud of yourself that you have to put it in every sentence?] as I look Carton over. Noticing that Mr. Keyis is walking towards the door, I ask, "Who are you to Kira?"
He answers, "She is my partner [in the Ridiculously Overpowered People's Army of Sadness] and it is my duty to protect her from all harm. [Er, she died. Clearly, you failed at some point.] It is not wise to make an enemy out of a true descendant of darkness." [Dun dun dunnn. We have a reference to the series title, everyone! Look impressed!]
As Mr. Keyis walks inside, my love stares at the door with pain and fear in his purple eyes, I think, "I wonder what is going on." [Some run-on sentences and Sueage. Nothing new, really.] Kira causes pain to run through Asato, but why?
The boy asks, "What do you think, Tsuzuki? I'm surprise that you could sense her emotions."
Mr. Watari asks, "Why is that, bon?"
He answers, "Because I could not sense her emotions. [Wow, I'm just useless fodder now, aren't I? It's great how much respect the author has for me as a character! Heck, no one even uses my name!]"
Watching as Carton walks inside, [For the record, I've lost track of who's inside and who's outside. I think there's a revolving door in this brothel.] I ask, "Mr. Tsuzuki, you said that her pain was like what?" He looks at me with sadness in his eyes [Her pain was like sadness. Look, just read this book of goth poetry and you'll get the point, okay?] and shakes his head to me. Walking over to him, I ask, "What is wrong?"
Mr. Watari states in a cold voice, "Like you care." [Hooray, Watari! Our sole island of sanity in this ocean of WTF!]
Asato replies, "He does care." [Does not! Does too! Does not! My psycho daddy can beat up your daddy!] He turns his face from me and asks, "Why are you so formal with me, Kazutaka?" [Because he's... Muraki. That's what he's like. This is the creepy sociopath you're in love with, Tsuzuki; better get used to it.]
He is upset because I was formal with him while his friends were around. [You managed to figure it out, all on your own! Good boy! Goood boy!] Sighing to myself, I state, "I thought you did not want anyone to know about us, my love." [No stupid relationship dorama is a secret in this fic. Everyone knows about Hisoka and Oriya, too, it seems.] Putting my cigarette out as Asato throws himself against me. [Wow. There's clingy and then there's really disturbingly clingy.] Feeling my beloved's tears soaking up my shirt, I wrap my arms around him to protect him from everything. Only if I could do this all the time without worrying about his work place finding out and ending his life. [Er. At least two people at his workplace already know. And you just outed him to the rest.] Asato must trust his friends not to turn him in for seeing me. [Turn him in? To who? Hakushaku? Give me a break, he's stalking Tsuzuki, too.] The boy turns his face to hind [Or even HIDE] the blush on his cheeks. [Why is Hisoka blushing, again? Is that Hisoka, or does Muraki just refer to random characters as "boys"?]
Mr. Watari falls over and asks, "What!?" [Oh. I guess someone was still out of the loop.]
Asato turns to face me and asks, "Can we talk in private, Kazutaka?"
Nodding to him as I reply, "Of course. The girls can show you all to your rooms." Katrina walks out and bows to us. Smiling at her, I state, "These gentlemen will need rooms." [And perhaps some help with their redundancy problem.] I help Asato stand up [because he can't do even that on his own, obviously] and walk inside without saying another word to his friends. Wondering if the boy will stay with Oriya tonight. It is funny how they are in love with each other. [Funny? If anything, your interest in their sex life is FUCKING CREEPY.] We walk inside and see Carton with Keyis talking things over. Mr. Keyis looks at us and nods to us. Noticing he is keeping Carton from seeing us, I whisper, "Thank you." He only nods his head.
[Did you all get that? CARTON BAD. KEYIS GOOD. It's all they have for personalities, so give them a break, all right?]
It hurts so much to see Asato in Muraki's arms. Why does it have to be Muraki? It could be anyone else. [Yep, with you there so far.] Why did Asato have to pick Muraki? I think, "Because he fell in love with Muraki and he is happy with him." [That thought clearly doesn't originate in your brain.] Observing Watari's facial expressions, I hope he does not tell on Asato. What am I thinking? Watari would never betray a friend. [Not even when it's in said friend's best interests?] Katrina looks us over [wondering if we're all too damn gay to give them any work] as I state, "We should be heading to our rooms."
Hisoka answers, "I will be staying out here for a while."
Katrina speaks, "Master Hisoka, will you be staying with Master Oriya tonight? Or should I get you, your own room for the night?" [Why the fuck did Oriya leave this blabbermouth in charge? Isn't discretion the key element in a high-class traditional brothel frequented by politicians?]
Watching Hisoka's facial expressions turn into fear as he looks at Watari. Watari only smiles at him and I guess he already knew about their relationship. It is not hard for Watari to find anything out. [Especially in this fic.] I am surprise that he did not find out about Asato being with Muraki. Watari looks at me with a huge grin and I blush. ["Hey, Tatsumi! Isn't it great how our youngest team member is fucking this friend of a psychopath? You know, the enabler of the guy who raped and killed Hisoka? The thought just makes you giggle, doesn't it?"] Why am I acting like this? My heart belongs to Asato, even if his [His what? Oh, I walked right into that one, didn't I?] belongs to Muraki. [Okay, I ship Tatsumi/Watari, too, but this is NOT the way I want them to bond, dammit.]
Hisoka finally answers Katrina, "I guess I'll be staying with Oriya tonight."
He hinds [HIDES. Good grief. Next time you pick up a dictionary, look up "proofreading".] his face and Katrina just smiles at him. [Everybody's just smiling indulgently at Hisoka, even though he's clearly not comfortable with either the relationship or the attention he's getting.] She walks towards the door [It's a long way to Doorland. Everyone walks towards it, but no one ever seems to get there. Maybe you have to turn left at Albuquerque.] and Watari and myself follow her through the doors. We have to much to talk about without Carton finding out anything. [He's the baddie, remember? Shunnn, shun the evil stock character!] Asato should be more careful with what he says in front of Carton. That man has it out for all of us. It is hard to understand what is his problem with Asato. [Mainly because the author doesn't seem to know, either.] We see Keyis talking to Carton. We walk past them and I ask, "Are we having two different rooms?"
She gives me a kind smile and replies, "Sorry, sir, but we only have one room left. There are two beds though." [Wow, business must be booming!]
Nodding to her as I state, "That is all right." Looking over at Watari, I whisper, "We have things to discuss." He only nods his head. [Damn skippy. Half the team is sleeping with the enemies and the dreaded Milk Lord of Darkness Carton is on their heels; they better come up with a plan fast.] Observing the place, I notice Miss Kira is not around at this moment. I wonder what she was talking about. Asato seemed to know her. What about those dreams he said he was having? [Aww, Thicko!Tatsumi. Please don't make the author repeat all that crap again.] We walk into a room with two beds against the wall. Observing the room, I notice plants hanging from the ceiling in front of the window to gain sun light. It is a nice room. Katrina bows her head and walks out of the room. [This roomy room of roomalicious roomness.]
Watari breaks the silence, "So, what is this with Muraki and Tsuzuki?" He gives me a sad look as he speaks, "I thought Tsuzuki and you were dating each other." [The Sad Eye Syndrome is taking over Watari, too, but heck, he still has the best characterisation around. Well, after Muraki, but the ficcer's delusional when it comes to him.]
Replying while I take a seat on the edge of the bed, "We have been having problems for two months and he has been seeing Muraki." Watari takes a seat next to me and tries to comfort me. [IfyouknowwhatImean!] Pulling away from his embrace, I state, ["Take your hand out of my pants, please; this really is quite serious."] "As long as he is happy, I do not care." It is easy to lie to everyone, but I know for a fact that I am not all right with this. I hate seeing him in Muraki's embrace.
Watari looks over at the window and replies, "I am here if you ever need anyone to talk to. I know for a fact that you are not all right with this. [I just read your thoughts, you see.]" He sighs as he changes the subject, "What do you think about Miss Kira?" [Oh for the love of donkey! The Sue is not even in the room and you're supposed to be discussing various other issues!]
Pushing my glasses up, I reply, "I am not sure. She does not look to good, but I could sense strong powers in her." [Yeah, yeah, you and everybody else.] She is planning something big. She needs Asato's help. I just do not know why she needs him. Is she an enemy to us? Keyis said that it was not wise to make an enemy out of a true descendant of darkness. I wonder what he means by that. [We'd know if the author wasn't so keen on lamely hinting at things instead of just TELLING US.]
Kira's POV: [Argh! I don't want to be in the Sue's point of view! I'm going to get cooties!]
Staring at the ceiling while lying on my back, I whisper to no one but myself, "It is time." How long has it been? Those purple eyes show me so much pain. [That you gave him, but let's not be nitpicky.] We are the same with the same curse. Does he not know me? It is he who can help me. [Even though he obviously can't even help himself. Not following your Sue logic, sorry.] It is he who can end this pointless war. [You're at war now? Did you consider informing anyone else of this?] Rolling over on my stomach and bending my knees to have my legs in the air, I lean against my elbows to wonder what the next step should be. It will be amusing with everyone here. [Amusing? Oh yes, Miss Sassypants, gloat while you still can. Your Sue powers have worked again; you've attracted all the canonical characters to you like flies to a cowpile.] Sensing their pain is nothing new to me. I am glad that Oriya has found someone. My mother once told me that he only loved one man. The same man she was in love with. I can see why she loved him. [...Oriya was in love with his own brother? And now he's moved on to traumatised teenagers? THERAPY! FOR EVERYONE!] He also has a past that he wishes to forget. [Yeah, I bet!] How sad for it to come back full force. That demon will not stop until he has my power. [And what does Oriya's incestuous past have to do with some immortal who's raised Saki from the dead and is now coming after you? Please, I beg you, make some freaking sense!] Hearing a knock at my door, I reply in a cold tone, "Come in." [I think there was a huge sale on cold and sad tones, and the author decided to get the whole family pack.] Sensing Keyis walk in, I state, "You should not be here."
He replies, "True, but you are not yourself." [Lovely confusing dialogue to go with the baffling pseudo-plot!]
Giving Keyis a cold laugh [Ooh! The author must've got half the price off on those!], I mumble, "Like you or anyone else would know what I am like." [You tragic little princess, you. I'm starting to agree with you; Tsuzuki and you are both suffering from the same Ice Princess curse.] Turning my head, I observe his serious look as he tries to talk sense into me. [...Yeah. Spare me some of that sense, will ya? Because I'm lost in this fic again.] It is not wise to make an enemy out of me and I use that fear to my advantage. [I believe that's one ticky box in the Mary Sue Litmus Test.] Carton is listening to us from outside my door. He is foolish to believe I will tell Keyis whom I need to win this war. [And summoning them to the brothel wasn't clear enough of a hint?] To be free is what I desire the most. I state in a cold voice [Buy one, get twenty for free!], "I will take back my name soon enough. Soon, I will have what I need and no one will stop me then."
Keyis looks behind him and replies, "You are a fool to take us on, [What? Keyis is a baddie, too? Listen, could you draw the battle lines with a bigger pen? I can't quite make them out.] but I understand your desire for revenge, Kira. I understand it all to well."
Staring at him, I stand up and walk to the window to see the rain pour down like my soul pours down on my being. [Turning my head around 180 degrees and somehow managing to look at both Keyis and the window. Bah, I'm a Sue. It's not like anyone's surprised if I act like a circus freak.] [Your soul is pouring down on your being, huh. Maybe you should add more flour; I don't think it's supposed to be that runny.] Keyis is a fool to think he understands what it is like to desire revenge against the place that gave you another chance at life. Rules are meant to be broken [but not the Mary Sue rules, as I clearly demonstrate] and only the powerful live against the ones who attack. [Be fair. The absentees and the fleet-footed also do fine in a combat situation.] I state in anger, "Get out of my room. I do not need you." Hearing the door open and shut, I whisper to myself, "I do not need him. Never him." [You know, I call myself a ficbitch for mocking bad fanfiction, but clearly I have a lot to learn when it comes to true bitchiness. Thanks for that valuable life lesson, Ms. Sue. I hope you choke on your own tragedy.]
*Flashback* [And now we have the Sue's flashbacks, too? Isn't she confusing and annoying enough already?]
Feeling the cold air blow through my coat, I mumble, "It is like before. The pain is still there." Warm tears roll down my face as I sense someone approaching me. It does not make a difference. I am one who should not be alive. [Finally, we agree!] The blood that runs through my veins are half-immortal. [So only the red bloodcells are immortal? How exactly does that work?] I was meant to be dead at my birth. It has been too long since I known what a warm touch feels like. He stands there watching my every movement. It brings me peace to see the beautiful flowers that will die soon. [Is this some kind of free-form goth poetry?] The weather is getting to cold. Why does he not speak a word to me? Why does he follow me every time I leave? Taking a seat on a cold rock, I state, "The flowers will soon die. Why is that? Why must they die so soon?" Talking foolishness to a man I will push away from my soul and my heart. [I need better drugs to understand what the hell is going on in this flashback.]
He replies, "Death and life are the same. They must die to bring new life. It is the cycle that cannot be changed."
A cold laugher [Buy one, get one free!] comes out of my lips as I speak, "You are right about that." It is always like this. He will come and watch me but never get close enough for me to read him well. Tilting my head to the side to give a glace [It's called a GLANCE.] at him, I ask, "What is desire? Why do we all feel desire?" He looks at me with a puzzle look in his dark eyes. [Those eyes tell me he's only missing two pieces of sky and one of the top of Mount Fuji!] He says nothing to me but his eyes tell me that he feels sadness for me. [Yes, 'puzzled' is exactly the same as sadness. Everything is exactly the same as sadness. Here, have a sadness. We're hip-deep in them!] How foolish to give pity to your enemy. [Or ask him pointless questions about flowers and desire, for that matter.] He fears me but also enjoys my company. Standing up and facing him, I state, "I will gain Asato Tsuzuki."
He mumbles, "I know."
Pulling a cigarette out and lighting it up before I speak, [Ooh, you sexy rebel, you!] "Tell me, why you do not end his life to prevent your enemy gaining his powers." I am your enemy now and forever. We can never be lovers. It is how fate works. My powers are too dangerous. The sadness coming from your soul sickens me. [That's hilarious. Newsflash, Sue: YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT.]
He replies with sadness in his voice [Oh come on, somebody, take a sadness! Please! They're up to my elbows now; I think they've started procreating.], "It is not wise to kill one who is favored."
Chuckling at his response, I mumble, "I guess you are right. It is not wise to kill someone who can bring me what I need." Watching the grey smoke raise as I exhale it. It is a beautiful night with the stars in the sky. Soon, the snow will fall and bring coldness to this world [along with all the sadness you can eat!] as it brings death to my soul. Death is all I know and my heart races for revenge. [But it wouldn't mind bringing home the bronze, either.]
He asks, "What will you do once your revenge is fulfilled?"
Staring at the fallen cherry blossoms [that appear out of nowhere], I mumble in a sad voice, "I will leave for good. There is nothing in this world or the other for me." He walks to me and embraces me from behind. His emotions show me so much more to life. It is to bad that I can never be what he desires. Pulling away from his warm arms, I state in a low tone, "It is our fates to be enemies and you know that. You of all people know that. Good-bye." He vanishes before my eyes [the two gross ones at the back of my neck] without saying a word to me. I am left alone to my dark thoughts and my desire of revenge. It will be soon that I gain the one who can save this damn soul.
*Flashback Ends* [Oh man. Next trip: more mushrooms. I didn't get to the part with the candy-striped unicorns at all!]
Very soon, I will betray you with all my soul. Why do you not stop me from carrying out my plan? Pushing you away with all my energy and still you come back for me. Is it to save this damn soul? Why is it you that I need the most? Staring at the dark sky, I whisper as tears roll down my face, "I can never be with you. You are the one who has my heart."
[I have no idea. No. Idea.]
We walk into his room and I take a seat on the bed. He looks me over with worry in his eyes. I do not want him to worry, but I know he will. Sighing to myself, I whisper, "Her pain was just like my own." [So tragic. So pretty. With cherry blossoms.] He embraces me with his warmth [instead of with his arms. The astral hug is kind of weird and I ask him to stop.] and I let my tears roll down my face. Why does this have to happen? How can I know her, but at the same time do not know her? Kira can answer my questions, but she says that it is not time. When will be the right time? [I know, Tsuzuki, it frustrates me, too. Sues and their dramatic timing!]
Kazutaka replies, "I will always be here." [Oh, it's Muraki. Thanks for telling me, finally.]
Hiding my face in the nook of his neck, I mumble, "You cannot promise that. You are mortal and can die. [I wouldn't bet on it. Have you seen what he can do? He's kicked your asses several times, for one, and you're shinigami.] Besides, if you knew everything about me, then you would leave me without a second glace." [Okay, you managed to learn how to write 'anger'. Maybe there's hope that you'll one day figure out 'glance', too.] Kazutaka holds me tighter and I melt into the warmth. Why is it he that heals my wounds? A person who should be my enemy. Who would have thought that he would become my lover? [I certainly didn't, because I still have this wonderful little thing called sanity.]
He whispers in my ear, "Marry me, Asato Tsuzuki." [You know, what I said about my sanity? There it went.]
Looking up into his beautiful eyes, I ask, "What did you say?" Did he ask me to marry him? [*rocking back and forth in the corner* LA LA LA LA LA IT'S NOT HAPPENING] Does he mean that? I know my heart belongs to him, [I've known this for almost an entire day!] but does his heart belong to me?
He gives me a gentle smile while stating, "No matter of your past, I will always love you, my dear Asato."
Turning my face to hind the blush, I stutter, "I . . . I . . . don' . . . t.." He puts his finger on my lips and gives me a serious look. I love this man more than anyone else before. Why can't I see that he loves me to? [Because of all the pesky insanity in the way.] Am I afraid of losing him when I say yes?
He speaks, "You do not have to answer me right now. I can wait forever for your answer." [Oh, okay then. Please take forever, Tsuzuki. I never want to see your white wedding. Congratulations, author; you took the madness of this pairing to new heights. I'm not even going to mention NO GAY MARRIAGE IN JAPAN, because really, at this point, the real world has nothing to do with the fic.]
Smiling at him, I whisper, "Thank you, Kazutaka. I'm confused right now." [No wonder.] He gives me a look of understanding. [I wish someone gave me a similar artefact. It might help me understand this fic's logic.] He will wait for me to answer him. Wrapping my arms around his waist while burying my face in the nook of his neck, I mumble, "I love you, Kazatuka." [Or whatever your name is.] Yes, I love him with all my heart. I think, "I will answer him tomorrow morning. A night to think about it will be enough time for me." [NOOOOO!] Already knowing the answer will be yes. Can we always be together? He is mortal and will die and I will live forever. What kind of life is that? Raising my face to stare in his eyes, I think, "Yes, that life can be good. No matter if he dies, I can live on, but can I live on without him?" Wishing that I did not have these thoughts. Feeling him lay me down on the bed and holding me in his strong arms, I mumble, ["I can distinctly remember once having male genitalia. But it was a long time ago, before the beginning of this fic, and it was just not meant to be. Ooh, must swoon now!"] "It won't take forever for me to answer you." I can feel his smile against my neck as I shut my eyes for a peaceful dream, I hope.
It is dark out with snow falling on the ground. This is not the same dream I have been having. What is going on? [Not another fucking dream sequence!] Observing the back round, I notice the same tree with no cherry blossoms on the branches. The tree looks dead as I notice Kira kneeling in front of the tree. I can feel her pain and sadness. Her life must have been horrible for her to feel revenge as well. Feeling pity for her, I think, "She looks almost dead." [She is dead. Where have you been? All this has already been established.] A man with dark hair walks to her. He looks like Muraki but with darker hair and darker skin color. What is he up to?
The man speaks, "A demon such as you comes to a tree of a woman who can no longer hear your pleas." [What.]
Kira replies with a sad voice, "A woman whom you killed in front of this tree. For her love was to him and only him. I was born of a man who she lusted after but never loved." She takes a breath and speaks, "You came here to finish me off, Saki. [SAKI? I thought he looked very much like his half-brother, pale with silver hair. I guess death gave him a wonderful tan.] I accept death with open arms. Death is what I want but never able to do it by my own hands."
Saki resorts, "You were cursed from the start. It is in your eyes. The unnatural eyes you process. [PROCESS?] It is you my lover wishes to have by his side." [Oh. This mysterious immortal someone who raised Saki from the dead is apparently his buttbuddy. People are just lining up to date psychos in this fic, aren't they?]
She turns around to stare at me as she whispers, "I will lose my life here and now. My revenge will keep me alive. Kazutaka Muraki has my mother's heart. It was him who she was in love with, but he could never return those feelings because his heart belongs to a man who can sent my damned soul free." [I'm trying really, really hard to keep up with all this mess. So... Oriya was in love with his own brother, and his brother's wife was in love with Muraki? Oh, my head hurts...]
Watching has Saki stabs her, I scream as I fall to my knees, "No! Stop!" Her pain rushes to my heart and my soul. Why does she have this power over me? [Because she's a Sue! Pay attention; that must be the third time you asked the same question!] Saki disappears from site and I walk to Kira to look at her face. She is so beautiful but her eyes are different. Her eyes are not sky blue. What is going on? Why can't I see the color in her eyes? She smiles at me and whispers something so soft that I can't hear her words. Kneeling down, I ask, "What did you say?"
She closes her eyes as she repeats her words, "Sent [SET] me free, Asato Tsuzuki. Give your heart to the man my mother loved and only wanted his happiness." [Have happy-happy bum fun with Dr. Rape! And please don't mind that I've basically ripped off your angsty personal problems and magnified them to fit my Sue purposes!]
Holding her close to my chest as I hear her last breath. What is going on? Why did I have this dream? Her blood flows around my body. [I guess it is a dream, but still... Are they in a giant aquarium now?] It is so red but the revenge is still in her heart. What revenge does she have? Is it against Saki? I felt the pain and despair and the revenge is not towards Saki. Whispering in her ear before I stand up, "I will help you." Kazutaka, please wake me up.
Saki appears and explains, "Her death is your fault. You are a demon." [Oh hi. My opinion must mean the world to you, seeing as we've never met before.]
Screaming to the air as I look at him, "No! No! Get away from me! You are lying!" Falling back on my ass as tears roll down my face, I stare this man in the face as I resort, [DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF WORDS? Please, please buy a dictionary! You'll learn so much!] "You are lying! No!"
Feeling someone shake me so hard that I think I will fall off the bed. Looking over to see Kazutaka worry eyes [Is this multiple choice?], I explain, "A nightmare. A nightmare." He holds me tight as I let my tears roll down my face with the pain of the truth behind Saki's words. [Yes, always trust undead psychos. They have even more truthiness than the living psycho you're currently cuddling.] I am a demon. I was never meant to live. Holding onto Kazutaka for dear life, I murmur, "I'm not a demon. Please tell me that I'm not a demon."
Kazutaka pulls my chin up to look at him in the eyes as he resorts [THESE ARE NOT THE WORDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR], "You are not a demon, my dear Asato. Do not believe that. You are more human than anyone I know including myself." [Well, I kind of agree with the bit about Tsuzuki being very human indeed. But I agreed with it even more when Hisoka said it, in canon. Hey, why give Hisoka any credit at all? You've already ripped off his talents and removed his spine, so why stop there?]
Leaning against his well-built [Lego] chest, I think, "Kazutaka is right. I'm human." [Oh, it's so wonderful to have someone else think for me!] Saki was trying to trick me and break me. It is odd for Saki to do the same thing that Kazutaka once tried against me. [That was a hint that Muraki ended up exactly like his crazy brother, if not worse, but I'm not surprised that you missed it.] I have to help Kira. No matter what it is, I will help her be free. [Give your life over to the Sue; that's it, good boy. Here, let good Doctor Rape think some more for you in the meantime.] [GOD. IT IRRITATES ME.]
Let's take a sanity break before continuing.