Ficbitches Anonymous

Why, hello my dearest non - aquaintances. I'm here for ... What else? Ficbitch.
This is my first ever, though with this pile of dead brain cells it shouldn't be too bad.

Today we have an "author" who makes me only wish that my cat had successfully clawed my eyes out all those times. The one, and GLADLY only, KidHeart4. I do realize a while ago anatinea did this same author, doing half of her first story. I commend anatinea and I don't blame them for not getting through that abomination. However, I don't want to steal their thunder and finish the second half of it (secretly because I'm an ass) so I've decided to do another one of her "lovely" little chapters, or stories, or whatever.

Enjoy ... or not.
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*kicks out the dusting soapbox*

All right, ladies and dudes and beings of fluid gender orientation. I haven't done a 'fic review in ages, but this one dragged the opinionated bitch in my brain out of hibernation.

Be aware that the following contains mild spoilers for Bleach. Also, the story includes a disturbing (but non-graphic) birthing scene, so know that it is there. With that said, gentle reader, get comfortable; today, I have issues.

I have extracted myself from my pursuit of higher education to raise a point.

The point being a fan fiction of epic proportions. Say hi to Inner Hollow, a Bleach masterpiece from the abyss of the Pit. It is a shining example of the maxim I've used before: popularity does not imply quality.

More than that (though the reader responses are disturbing enough), Inner Hollow exemplifies a worrisome fandom trend: the dehumanisation of the romantic rival. It is such a textbook case that even when the whole story is a user manual to OOC, this trend glares like a searchlight through all the rest.

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And here's the second part of the fourth chapter. I'm off to pour bleach into my ear now.

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The next chapter is the last one. Thank the lord of dance.

Why am I still bitching this horrid fic? Why do cats find floor drains so endlessly fascinating?

In this fourth chapter of Two of a Kind, the author piles some hate on Tatsumi and Ketessa doubles her Sue points.

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To be continued in the second part as usual.

In this second part of the third chapter of Two of a Kind: Muraki's vaguely religious Mexican funeral! A wussy lord of the underworld! And our second Mary Sue, Ketessa!

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We have reached the third chapter of Two of a Kind, the Yami no Matsuei fic set in bizarro land where psychos are woobies, all verbs end with -ing, Mary Sues run rampant and everything is either cold or sad or both.

And we get to hear even more of Kira Sue's tragic past! Hooray!

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Take a deep breath before we plunge into Muraki's funeral!

Here we go, the rest of Two of a Kind, chapter two. It's made of bubblegum, man-chests and tragedy.

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I needed Dr. Scully here to distract me from the horror that is Dr. Muraki Rapeston and his bestest friend Kira, the Mary Sue of Sadness and Sass. Brace yourselves for another long chapter of Two of a Kind. Are those wedding bells I hear? Why yes, I believe they are!

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Let's take a sanity break before continuing.

The Yami no Matsuei: Sweet Valley High Version continues!

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Okay, let me begin by illustrating the main problem with today's fic:



For those of you not in the early yaoi loop, this animanga is Yami no Matsuei (Descendants of Darkness), my guilty pleasure from my teenage anime fangirl years. (I'm now a much more mature fangirl, which basically means I want believable character development with my shameless manporn.) I'd like to point out that I've never read the English translation, nor watched the anime with official subs, so I have no idea how much the translation can be blamed for characterisation crimes (FAKE, Tokyopop, Dee the Insufferable Asshole; here's a rant for later times). Today's fic seems to be solely based on the 13-episode-long anime, however, so I don't think there's much chance of confusion here. Well, unless you count the fact that it's written using strange Moon grammar and characters from some cheap Sweet Valley High knock-off.

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To be continued in the second post, because this first chapter is massive.