Why, hello my dearest non - aquaintances. I'm here for ... What else? Ficbitch. This is my first ever, though with this pile of dead brain cells it shouldn't be too bad.
Today we have an "author" who makes me only wish that my cat had successfully clawed my eyes out all those times. The one, and GLADLY only, KidHeart4. I do realize a while ago anatinea did this same author, doing half of her first story. I commend anatinea and I don't blame them for not getting through that abomination. However, I don't want to steal their thunder and finish the second half of it (secretly because I'm an ass) so I've decided to do another one of her "lovely" little chapters, or stories, or whatever.
All right, ladies and dudes and beings of fluid gender orientation. I haven't done a 'fic review in ages, but this one dragged the opinionated bitch in my brain out of hibernation.
Be aware that the following contains mild spoilers for Bleach. Also, the story includes a disturbing (but non-graphic) birthing scene, so know that it is there. With that said, gentle reader, get comfortable; today, I have issues.
I have extracted myself from my pursuit of higher education to raise a point.
The point being a fan fiction of epic proportions. Say hi to Inner Hollow, a Bleach masterpiece from the abyss of the Pit. It is a shining example of the maxim I've used before: popularity does not imply quality.
More than that (though the reader responses are disturbing enough), Inner Hollow exemplifies a worrisome fandom trend: the dehumanisation of the romantic rival. It is such a textbook case that even when the whole story is a user manual to OOC, this trend glares like a searchlight through all the rest.
Bury Me With My Favourite Banjo In this second part of the third chapter of Two of a Kind: Muraki's vaguely religious Mexican funeral! A wussy lord of the underworld! And our second Mary Sue, Ketessa!
The Seven-Year-Old Sue and Her Speshul Yaoi Sense We have reached the third chapter of Two of a Kind, the Yami no Matsuei fic set in bizarro land where psychos are woobies, all verbs end with -ing, Mary Sues run rampant and everything is either cold or sad or both.
And we get to hear even more of Kira Sue's tragic past! Hooray!
The Return of Dr. Rape I needed Dr. Scully here to distract me from the horror that is Dr. Muraki Rapeston and his bestest friend Kira, the Mary Sue of Sadness and Sass. Brace yourselves for another long chapter of Two of a Kind. Are those wedding bells I hear? Why yes, I believe they are!
For those of you not in the early yaoi loop, this animanga is Yami no Matsuei (Descendants of Darkness), my guilty pleasure from my teenage anime fangirl years. (I'm now a much more mature fangirl, which basically means I want believable character development with my shameless manporn.) I'd like to point out that I've never read the English translation, nor watched the anime with official subs, so I have no idea how much the translation can be blamed for characterisation crimes (FAKE, Tokyopop, Dee the Insufferable Asshole; here's a rant for later times). Today's fic seems to be solely based on the 13-episode-long anime, however, so I don't think there's much chance of confusion here. Well, unless you count the fact that it's written using strange Moon grammar and characters from some cheap Sweet Valley High knock-off.
Wrapping up the butt-twin saga... And we finally reach the heart-warming conclusion of Tears of the Soul. How did Xander's ass sustain two little Mary Sue darlings? How did Spike and Angel become weepy pimps with private jets and synchronised penises? What colour are the twins' eyes? Well, if you've ever read crapfic, you already know which one of these questions the ficcer deemed important enough to answer.
Back with a vengeance (but still no commas.) Part two of Akasha721's epic tragedy, Blue Diamond, and still no sign of the actual Gorgeous Carat characters. Where-oh-where could they have gone?
Traitors to the Gorgeous Carat Fandom Having been just recently inspired by my ficbitching idol skinship, and by bitching apart an insipid little e-reviewer who insulted an excellent book, I'd like to say hi, everybody: I don my bitching cap once again after a year of hiatus, and join this troupe for the first time! Huzzah? Verily. :3
Generally, I don't like to pick apart the Gorgeous Carat fandom. It is very very tiny and fragile with only one or two redeeming qualities to it, sort of like a rabid baby bunny who only wants to tear your face off. But through we fans' prolonged refusal to call bad GC fics when we see them for the sake of numbers and/or camraderie, the fandom has just become absoutely overrun with sissy crybaby Florians, spastic control-freaks Rays and bitchy Mean Girls-esque Lailas. The fanfiction.net Gorgeous Carat community, per usual, is the worst of all.
Well, it cannot stand! This fangirl is standing up and saying no to the tyranny of ficcers over this obscure little fandom, once and for all!
There are nearly too many bad GC fics to count on ff.net alone, but this is one of the most recent, by an Akasha721, entitled "Blue Diamond". Incidentally, this isn't purple prose, just redundancy: the story really does revolve around a blue diamond. Guh. Only a taste of the dark backstreets of the Gorgeous Carat ff.net community, I fear.
In addition, this ficcer is terrifyingly forward with her readers.
You asked for it, folks. Here are four more chapters of Tears of the Soul, the stirring vampire polyamory drama, starring some random idiots who share their names with Spike, Angel and Xander from Buffy. See how they mysteriously turn from wimpy male lesbians into sleazy pimps! Marvel as Xander rants at his two robotic lovers for hours and hours, and then quotes Eminem! And finally, enjoy the double-ass-pregnancy.
The bitch is back! Time to return once again to the male lesbian vampire drama known as Tears of the Soul, starring Spike, Angel and Xander and their newly installed Hausfrau Brain Chips! It isn't nearly as exciting as it may sound, I'm afraid.
(The first part of the bitching can be found here.)
Well, this is my first ficbitch ever so please be kind.I decided to start myself off with something that really deserves it so there is no way that I can fail.By saying so, I hope I have not doomed myself.
But anyway, that's not what I'm here for. This purile piece was the very first story on the adult fanfiction page for Kingdom Hearts. It's Leon/Sora. Incestuous Leon/Sora.
However, neither of these things is what makes this fic horrible (wow, I'm really jaded if I can say that with a straight face, am I?). What makes it horrible is it contains two of the most feminized, ball-less Sora and Leon I have ever seen in the fanfiction world. And coming from someone who read Naga Eyes, that's saying a lot.
Some MSTs for your viewing pleasure... Lurker posting for the first time. :D My sister and I, when bored, which happens quite a lot, find badfic to MST and we started up a little MSTing site with all of our mockings. I thought I'd post them here, with labels and such, since most of them are multi-chaptered Mary-Sue self-insert fics (the best kinds to mock because they are so awesome awful) Enjoy, if you read. :)
The main page of the MSTing site can be found here.
irate
sick
Very Sleepy